Dayum

Just found my blog after losing it for the past few months.

It's interesting to re-read my last post talking about prisons after just taking a group of youth from Willard Middle School in Berkeley to Alcatraz.

It was interesting to see youth so inspired and interested in their education and wanting to stay. It also made me hopeful because the bulk majority were all people of color - however it also saddened me that the favorite part of most of the youth was the breakdancers on pier 39 at the end. Granted I love hip-hop and bboy/bgirl culture, but these dancers weren't even that good. Not to hate, they were from all over the world - but they were street performers - focussed too much on commercializing the culture I grew up in love with. Oh well.

I'm hoping to write more in this now that I re-found it.

Here's a quick flow to keep my mind focussed - I've missed writing. A friend's blog recently encouraged me to continue writing.

"A spy"

That's what they call me
With a laugh
With a snicker
A red, Commie, Communist motherfucka
Spying for the Russians
Neglecting all thoughts and concerns of who I am
Slapping this label across my forehead with a laugh.

And yet they expect me to be satisfied.
They expect me to be happy
To smile with them
They look at me expectandly
Waiting, hoping, praying.
And I am doing the same
Waiting, hoping, praying
For the awkward silence to subside
I wish to avoid altercations
But I can no longer remain silent.

Falling pleas upon deaf ears I shout out to the vast voids of the earth
For all to hear - But seemingly heard by none.
Forced to work with co-workers who are overtly racist, sexist, and homophobic.
Elitist, privileged, judging eyes and ears surround me.
Why would you throw away your life?
Why has the world given you everything and yet you still choose to waste away?
What can I say?
Is it because I'm gay?
I'm straight?
I'm bi?
I wonder why as I sit in contemplation
Numbed by this overwhelming pressure.

So I continue my work as a spy
Working without sides
Without judgement
Without labels
Without stereotypes
Without coming out
Without hiding within
With everything hanging out
Not waiting to be noticed
But known that I am seen.

Ready for hire and waiting for my next assignment.












I'm out to martial arts practice, it feels so great to be able to say that again... =)